The Beautiful Panic.com

Don't think! Just panic!

  • “Civilization is Sterilization!”

    – Aldous Huxley, Brave New World

    “Forgive him, for he believes that the customs of his tribe are the laws of nature!”
    ― George Bernard Shaw

    Nobody owns anything in our society. We’re all just a really bad day, or month, or year away from losing everything. All we really do is go to sleep hoping that the system that makes your position in your company, or profession, the tiniest bit necessary; is still there when you wake up. You might not know that you’re hoping for this. But in the back of their heads, every creature knows who’s the owner of the territory that the troop inhabits. We all know what’s necessary to maintain that territory and how to find our place within it. How? You have to look to the leader. He (or she) is the one who tells you where the predators are. How to spot them. How to hunt. How to gather. How to graze. How to fuck. He (or she) who holds the keys to access these basic biological necessities, controls the masses.

    There is a network of control. The one who gives us the needs is that 3-pound gelatinous piece of alien technology floating around in our skulls. The next level is the first tier of leaders, your parents, who have a network of their own. The next is your peer group and their networks. The one who directs all of this is your regional culture. A culture which is formed by all of the living networks. But the foundation, and majority of whatever culture you’re a part of is made up of layers of influence from beyond the grave.

    The biological needs are there from endocrine system drives that help regulate our immune system and consequently, our self-preservation. Psychoneuroimmunology is a field of study that has learned an incredible amount about how our brain, or more specifically the decisions we make, the moods we’re in, in some cases even our sanity, are controlled by delicate systems throughout the body. What influences the direction our internal organs drive us towards when seeking the stimulation they require? What tells our brain that our lungs can get more oxygen when hugging; To reach for certain foods when in need of emotional comfort; Or to employ certain tactics in a social interaction to get the endorphins we need from it? It’s our sensory system, of course.

    The correlation between morality and sanitary impulses is a great example. The bible’s insights on human nature have always been ahead of their time. But the insight in the phrase “cleanliness is next to Godliness” is scary in its intuitiveness. With various researchers finding that the connected psychological definitions and reactions to both unclean and immoral play a bigger role in our daily lives than we realize. Things like wanting to clean ourselves after experiencing or recounting a shameful act. Having harsher moral judgements when being uncomfortable or bothered by a bad smell. Are only two examples of how our lesser attributed sensory drives overpower and/or influence the others and as a result, direct our conscious decision making. But it’s also a blueprint for those few of us who find that their place in our society is that of a leader of the masses or mass manipulator.

    The bible’s obsession with incense and feet washing and oils and cleanliness is almost a conscious effort on the part of the authors to communicate a multigenerational lesson on health and to connect it to their authority, or “God’s”. Those who live morally are clean and it’s your job to live morally. And how do you live morally? Through the rules in our books. Rules handed down by God himself. The majority of which subtly deal with either staying physically healthy through dietary and hygenic laws or spitually healthy through “cleansing” the heart, or mind, or spirit, or soul, etc. Verses like, “cleanse ourselves from every defilement of body and spirit”; “wash yourselves; make yourselves clean; remove the evil of your deeds”; and “by the washing with water through the word…”, pepper the entirety of the bible to make cleanliness and morality almost synonimous. A brilliant way of conditioning the mind. The benefits of cleanliness and healthy living are universal. You connect God’s authority to something universally benefitial, God becomes universally benefitial. And as most of you can imagine, a daily benefitial practise, like eating, or sleeping, or breathing, becomes a foundational aspect of our reality.

    In the last part of this series, we covered what strategies a tribal leader might employ to communicate an abstract idea or influence others while handicapped with a primitive language. Mainly, they connected their directives to people’s biological necessities. Do A in order to get more of B.

    Sometime between 21,000 and 24,000 years ago, we built a wall. It wasn’t a monument. And it wasn’t built on some holy site. The oldest human built structure ever found is a wall at the mouth of a cave near the small town of Kalabaka in Thessaly, Greece. The society that built this wall had lived in or around that cave through generations of deadly winters. Struggling to keep fires alive as the demonic wind slithered through the cave. Aside from the impressiveness of this technological leap, it also marks another instance of territorial isolation possibly fostering innovation. This type of innovation has it’s limitations, as we can only innovate so much through necessity. Ideas involving things independant of necessities take an outside perspective. Someone oblivious or indifferent to the qualms of the society they’re in.

    The wall was made of clay and uncut lime stone. Inside the cave is evidence of ceramic experimentation. Their isolation may have resulted in them finding new ways to use the fire that was so critical to their survival. Sitting around forming wet clay into cylindrical shapes, someone probably asked themselves “what happens if I hold this over the fire?”, and did it. Playing with it’s adhesiveness. But this is during the calm periods. During 60 degree summers. When the snow melted and the bottom of the lake was full of wet clay. We were seasonal animals. Like every other animal, our bodies knew the bad times were coming. Where we make the mistake is believing that it’s our consciousness and its conception of time that makes us aware of the changing seasons. It’s the sensory system. Absorbing up millions of god-knows-what in the atmosphere as we pick up a peppermint mocha at the starbucks drive-thru.

    Around 40,000 years ago, homosapiens on the island of Tasmania were using fire to alter their landscapes by burning down forest. This turned dense vegetation into open grassland. This practice somehow spread throughout Northern Africa and Europe. Whether there were roaming tribes that transferred information between those that practised sedentism, or the latter came by the practice independantly, this was an exercise that also demanded seasonal awareness and would enforce our cyclical nature. A pattern of existence built around a certain time of the year that we can prepare for.

    During the Last Glaciel Maximum, near the Meteora mountains back in Thessaly, the winters were the manifestation of death itself. With all the tragedy and gore of the worst and most recent accounts of any town going through a winter without electronic heaters or access to conventional tools for cutting wood or lighting a fire. The cyclical trauma percipitated a need, and the periods of rest fostered a creativity. This was our nature and connected us through the generations of our bloodline’s existence. To all living things in our surroundings.

    As this preparation became a foundational part of our reality, we began to deify the things we were preparing for. We connected mythos of characters with an authoritarian nature. Probably because of how imperative the preparation for these seasonal events are. And also to ease the absorbtion of the information. Making the information absolutely necessary to heed under threat of divine consequences. By now most with even a passing interest religious studies know that almost all important religious dates have always been adoptions and adaptations of ancient seasonal markers. This continuum makes sure that these cyclical practices, already existent in the society’s programming, becomes a foundational part of the individual’s reality through the authority of the new religion. Pretty soon the health of the mind, the body, and social relationships, through the recognition of, and participation in, important individual and seasonal ceremonies; are all only possible through the authority and blessing of your God.

    To those who might think they get the gist of my argument, the argument isn’t just that we’ve lost some connection to nature. It’s more that the transition to this new psychological state that our society lives in, in which we atomized time and made it a foundational structure of every facet of our lives has resulted in unintended psychological consequences. We have become schizophrenic en masse, through this programming. Operating on a utilitarian civility and oblivious to the inhumanity in our hearts. And this mentality might have blessed us with our lightspeed travel through all of the developments and collective achievements. But it is why we seem to be racing towards another era of collective violence. Why we have so many unhappy people. So many, so desperate, that choose to be homeless, or end their lives rather than live out of whack in this reality. At the end of the day, this is just a theory. You are welcomed to find the flaws. To critizise the ignorance or naivety. I even welcome the pedantic, as I want to learn and get better.

    In the next part of this series, I’ll give my closing arguments in this case of the broken society. Thank you for reading.

  • Chapter 3

    Kyla is getting her long black hair braided by her friend, Tessa. She is dreading having to go in to work. It’s not the commute. They’re on a hydrogen refining and storage vessel known as the Fitzgerald. All she has to do is walk down the hall, then take the elevator up, and walk down another hall to get to the bridge, where she works. It’s not the job. Another cup of coffee; Another rice cake; Another day sending maintenance reports, medical updates, payroll information, and overall performance data to the home office.

    She’s dreading going in because of a guy. Done! Tess puts the last tie on one of the two massive braids she quickly and expertly formed. Tessa has a lifetime of practice on taller straight-haired girls like Kyla. Tessa herself, having the antithesis of both of these features, is an irony that is not lost on her. He’s just taking things too seriously! Kyla blurts out as if she had been holding it in for a while. I mean, if you told him and he still wants to act like you’re exclusive, or whatever, that’s on him. Tess raddles off. I don’t want to hurt him, though. I should just tell him we can’t hook up anymore.

    Tess gets an idea. Why don’t you come with me to mars? You can stay with me at my parent’s. I’m sure Gordo has a friend. Kyla thinks about it for a bit. That’s a long way to travel for a hook up. Tess has a lightning quick comeback. It beats having to see the guy every day, after. The single scene here is basically a long, sad swingers party. Kyla chuckles. I’m serious!… An alarm rings in Tess’s ear. Inaudible to Kyla. Tess simply snaps into and out of attention. Kind off like a dissociative spasm. She quickly looks around for her essentials. I gotta go! Let me know, okay. Her little powerhouse legs sweep her out of the room as fast as they can.

    K hates the situation, but she still tries to enjoy her days and have some fun while stuck here. Oh, and she hates her supervisor. And right on cue, she gets a call on her personal computer. It was implanted onto the base of her neck at the age of ten. Some kids get it sooner than others. Depending on your parent’s views and income, some children get it at three, others not until their teens. K. It’s her supervisor. Yes? Her despondence palpable. The skimmer hasn’t been brought back. The sensors are showing that it’s been full since yesterday. Kyla knows that she shouldn’t, but she’s about to order her boss to do something because it’s what he should’ve done in the first place. You should call… He angrily cuts her off. I did! they’re not answering me! They stay quiet or they whisper some shit I can’t understand! Get down there and see what’s going on with them! And if this is some kind of fucking joke they’re playing, tell them to get their asses to my office after their shift! The connection cuts off.

    She walks down the hall as she commands her inner pc to call Oscar. The line opens to breathing. Hello? K waits for a moment. A phrase begins to be whispered repeatedly. Like a mantra being employed in a panic. She can’t quite make it out. Hello? Oscar? She waits again. The chanting continues. This time she heard it crystal clear in the beginning. The dead are alive. Kyla has had enough of this bullshit. I’m coming down there! Emmit is pissed! That skimmer better be docked by the time I get there! She boards the elevator and commands it to receiving.

    The elevator opens to blackness. The abyss of the hallway is only lit by small emergency strips on the floor. Lights on! A voice in Kyla’s ear says Error. She slowly walks down the hallway. Call Maintenance! She continues through the darkness. Maintenance. K quickly answers. Yes! The lights are off down here at receiving! The maintenance operator begins checking the system. It looks like someone logged into the program and locked out the settings for that floor. I can bypass it. Just give me a moment. She reaches the door. It slides open. More blackness. She can hear the faint whisper from the corner of the room. The mantra continues relentlessly. The dead are alive, the dead are alive, the dead are alive… Oscar? Kyla’s fear is leaking out of her vocal cords.

    Hands clutch her arms in the darkness. She lets out a shriek. STOP! She yells at the top of her lungs. The person is grabbing her hard, digging his fingers into her skin. You’re hurting me! Kyla is trying to break free from this freakish grasp. They fall to the floor. Kyla can feel the man on top of her now. She can also feel that she fell on something. Something lumpy, covered in wet fabric. Are you real? A voice asks. Tom?! Kyla is gaining back some of her nerve now that she recognizes the voice. Get off! You’re hurting me! She now demands angrily.

    The lights turn on. Tom’s face is covered in dried blood. It’s crusted up all over his unkempt facial hair and bangs. His expression is macabre. Eyes as wide as garage doors and his lips curled in as he clenches his teeth. Kyla begins to look around the room. There is blood everywhere. She’s laying on Reno’s corpse. Whose neck has been slit from ear to ear. There’s also the naked and dismembered corpse of a woman laying all over the room. Oscar and two other crew members are tied up in the corner, with tape over their mouths. Kyla’s fight mechanisms kick in. She screams as loud as she can from the shock and frantically begins leveraging her weight side to side. Trying to roll Tom over or loosen his grip.

    Oscar has been waiting for this opportunity to play his card. He had untied his binds hours ago. But couldn’t do anything about it in the darkness. Oscar grabs the bloody knife laying on the ground and stabs Tom in the side. The entire ten-inch blade disappeared into him. Oscar pulls out the blade. He’s been picturing this in his head since he got the ropes off. Sitting there in pitch black. Knowing that when the moment came, the action had to be quick. Each movement had to be deliberate. Kill zones. Too many bones in the back. And, despite what he’s seen in the movies, he figured it takes luck to swing hard enough to break through a man’s skull. Abdomen and throat. That’s what he’ll go for. And that’s what he did. He immediately brings the knife up and, with a guttural scream, slices deep into Tom’s throat. Blood spilling all over Kyla’s head.

    She throws Tom’s body off of her and tries to wipe the blood off in a fit of panic and disgust. First, with her hands, then with her shirt. Oscar begins untying his crew. Kyla! Help me! Untie Jodie! She’s frozen, looking up at the blood smears on the wall. In small print, written in blood, the words “the dead are alive” sit in a clean space in between the smears.

    The dismembered corpse’s limbs activate and begin to shake violently. The head unleashes a horrible scream.

    +
  • Chapter 2

    The twelve-person squad is in a moment of silent contemplation. All trying to center themselves into a balanced emotional state. Trying to find clarity within the storm of adrenaline, fear, and self-doubt. Danny is nervous. But he’s a natural. He is a student of the game. As such he has studied the tactics of the fire teams from the time of real combat, which is now extinct on his planet. He knows that the major difference between them and the real soldier of the barbaric past is the mindset. The classical soldier never had to concern himself with celebrity. With looking like a star for the cameras. Danny’s father, Alex, is a psychologist and helped him develop the right mindset for this sport. Taught him that despite the myths that surrounded war in the times of antiquity, the lowly soldier never went into battle thinking about their country, their family, or morality. It was about the survival of themselves and their brothers and sisters in arms.

    He looks at the squad. Making eye contact with each of them to signal that he has something to say.

    It’s about us out there. It’s not about our country; It’s not about the critics; it’s not about the medals. It’s about taking care of each other. We define ourselves, out there. Anybody else’s definition of us does not matter. They expect us to be the technical team. That, if the U.S. beats us, they will beat us with their nastiness. We’re going to show them how nasty we can be. We’re going to give them different looks. As we head out to the first target, we’re going in a line formation. When we split up, Alpha and Bravo will flank to the north and south of the target. Take our post on blocks and pick off any targets we can. Charlie and Delta will wait until the perimeter is clear enough for a whole unit assault on the target. They will have two units there and move them back if it looks like the target is about to fall. That’s how these boys play defense. Let’s cut them off on the escape.

    DIZAM! The squad yells. The unofficial team name. The voice of the coach comes through their coms, which is a microphone and receiver inside of a small plastic sticker stuck behind their ears. Time to suit up. Danny likes when the coach announces this. It’s standard, but it’s comforting. He pictures coach from his position as the eye in the sky, commanding a fleet of drones over the battlefield from a control tower above the team’s base. It reminds him to protect the team’s drones and target the opposition.

    The squad begins pressing a button on each of their sleeves. What looks like a thick clear film connected to a long U-shaped metal wire emerges from the back of their necks and passes over their heads. The U-shaped wire is hinged to a railing installed on their bodysuit’s neckline. The wire constricts automatically, sealing itself to the railing and the film becomes solid and spherical, locking their heads in a minimalist kind of astronaut helmet.

    They put on the face shields, complete with neck protectors. They are big enough to fit over the pressure bubble helmet, and each member has a different design. Danny’s design is of a dragon’s head wearing a crown. Made of a lightweight aluminum nano fiber. He looks at his best friend Nick’s helmet. It’s a large replica of Homer Simpson’s head. A red light comes on. An artificial voice announces, Air lock opening in 2 minutes. The squad boards their four military looking dune buggies. Danny takes the wheel of his unit’s vehicle. The electric engines start. A loud buzz cuts through the silence. The giant airlock vault door clanks and whirs as the air hisses out of the seal.

    Danny loves watching the massive door open on the gargantuan metal structure. Every time is like the first. The nerves, adrenaline, and tunnel vision is pushed to the background as he takes in the blessing of the whole event. Happening during the two weeks of that region’s turn in the sun, the chalky grey sand outside seems luminescent. Danny gets in the zone as he plots the path through the track covered dunes. The buggies begin to shred through the lunar desert with Danny leading the formation. He loves how the two walls of sand are kicked up by the front wheels. He looks up at the earth just as his team’s drones flying overhead. The scenery, the panic, the comradery, it’s the most beautiful thing in life to him. Besides meeting his daughter, wife, and parents at the astroport. If he was completely honest, he loves this a little bit more. He hates the ritual of the family reunion. He loves seeing his daughter’s joyful face. But he wishes that he could isolate himself after the blissful trauma that are these Olympic games. He tells himself he should enjoy it while it lasts. His daughter won’t be little forever. And there aren’t many of these trips left in him.

    Danny can see the mock city ahead. Paintball pellets start flying around the vehicle. A grenade arches and explodes right above them. Peppering the two lead vehicles’ roofs with a rainbow of paintball splatters. Danny looks up to the giant holographic screen Two squad members have been hit in limbs, according to the body sensors. They’re still in the match, but one more to the limbs and they’re out. He breaks away to the left and watches Nick’s vehicle directly behind veer to the right in his rear view. Danny can see the tower of the first target as he navigates through the house-sized, matte-blue, blocks that surround it in a grid. A faux city, with the capture point in the middle. There are opponents taking their positions at the top of the tower.

    He stops at a block south of the tower. There is a pickup truck sized box next to a larger one-story-house-sized box. All three have a ten-foot vertical in this gravity, which allows them to reach the top of the larger box in two leaps.

    Danny aims his gun at the top of the tower. They’re shooting at something in the sky. They’re taking out the drones! Danny screams out as he begins firing. Suddenly he can see something falling fast in his direction.

    The drone rips his head off. A one-in-a-million shot.

    +
  • Chapter 1

    Humanity has conquered the solar system. The only living thing to cross the void between planets to spread across three of its celestial giants. A promethean task that happened in the blink of an eye. Almost like it was meant to be. A natural occurrence. Humanity was a celestial mold. A fungus. Attaching itself to different suitable objects to host our new colonies, and cities, and societies.

    After we terraformed the red planet, the moon. All it took was being able to synthesize water in large amounts. The moon couldn’t be terraformed. Not enough gravity. As much as we try to become like the giants in this universe, we’re still only a mass of microscopic fungi blanketing them. We resurrected one. The other, we made vines. Massive metal veins coursing with the spores of both Earth and Mars. Circulating like blood simply by doing their daily routines at the bottom of the pecking order, or as a quiet middling, or in the lap of wealth.

    But our story begins in a sprawling metropolis on mars called Voyager, in the country of New America. They first called it the New United States of America, but through the decades it’s abbreviation became the official title. Alex! Screams Eilen from the living room. Alex is in the nice, gunmetal kitchen. Everything is seamless. He swipes his hand at the corner of the smooth, gunmetal panel above the stove. The panel lifts up with an electrical whirl and Alex removes two more pizzas from the oven trays. I’m coming! He yells back with a hint of frustration. We can see a hall of fame as he walks down the hallway. Gold medals and trophies. Alex has always fought the urge to touch the first medal Danny won for good luck. He wants to believe he’s not one of those superstitious people. He knows that if he begins the ritual, it’ll never stop.

    We would be safe to assume he was walking the food into the living room. Instead, he brings it into what looks like an owner’s box at a stadium. Friends and neighbors are sitting on the minimalistic white chairs and couches. There’s a large plant beside the door, with its giant leaves stretching into the doorway. He passes right through the plant’s leaves. As if passing through a hologram. In what is supposed to be the box’s window towards a stadium is just a giant wallpaper TV displaying a sporting broadcast from the moon. You missed Danny! Eilen notifies Alex.

    He puts the pizzas down on the table as Josh approaches to grab a slice. Josh pays a pregnant compliment. This room is awesome! He shares with a smile on his face. Alex can’t help but to share the specs of his new entertainment room. Four, ten by fifteen-foot 3D, 240k TVs. Twenty-four speakers and two subs in the ceiling. You can change the style of the room to anything. E-room! Alex yells up to the ceiling. A white flash swipes through all of the screens. We can now see the full scope. All four walls are covered with giant screens. The stadium themed furniture along the walls, all three-dimensional illusions. Rainforest theme! He commands. The walls begin to morph into a small, open-air bungalow in the middle of a large valley in some non-specific rainforest. A waterfall’s majestic power directly to the left. The rainbow of the sunlight passing through the mist can be from the individual’s specific point of view. The stadium furniture along the walls morphs into a three-dimensional fake bar and fake kitchen. The fake plant beside the door into a Malaysian style ancient statuette. There is even a pet tiger sitting in the corner. Licking its chops, yawning, laying down, enjoying its virtual life.

    He’s on! Yells Eilen with excitement. They all snap their attention to the screen. It’s the pregame broadcast. A squad of eight in tactical gear are strategizing beside all-terrain vehicles, inside of a giant bunker. A proportionately massive airlock door in front of them. There he is! Screams one of the neighbors. Eager to be a part of this proud moment for Eilen and Alex. The camera focusing on the tall, long faced Danny. Eilen anxiously interlocks her fingers in front of her mouth. The lower third on screen reads Interplanetary Olympic Games- Wargames Quarter Finals: New America vs. USA. Alex is handed a beer as he finds his seat.

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  • “… The clock has the effect of disassociating time from human events and thus nourishes the belief in an independent world of mathematically measurable sequences. Moment to moment, it turns out, is not God’s conception, or nature’s… the clock made us into time-keepers, and then time-savers, and now time-servers. In the process, we have learned irreverence toward the sun and the seasons, for in a world made up of seconds and minutes, the authority of nature is superseded… Eternity ceased to serve as the measure and focus of human events. And thus, though few would have imagined the connection, the inexorable ticking of the clock may have had more to do with the weakening of God’s supremacy than all the treatises produced by the philosophers of the Enlightenment; that is to’ say, the clock introduced a new form of conversation between man and God, in which God appears to have been the loser. Perhaps Moses should have included another Commandment: Thou shalt not make mechanical representations of time.” – Neil Postman.

    It’s very early morning. The black canvas of the night sky nestles the stars which are in full bloom at this hour. Inside a hut, water stops flowing from a small hole at the bottom a clay pot being held up by a two-tiered metal frame. There is a pot on the bottom tier catching the water. The frame suspends the pots with two metal rings that fit snuggly beneath the rims of the pots. The bottom pot has five large wooden beads floating to the top and then over the edge of the overflowing receptacle. The beads smack on the floor of the hut. A man on a cot wakes up. He exits the cot and mounts his horse. The man rides off on the ancient dirt road that sits beside an irrigation canal. He reaches an intersection of the canal, lifts a large wooden board that was laying on the ground and slides it down two grooves carved into the sides of the entrances where the canal paths intersect. Just like that he redirects hundreds of thousands of gallons of water to another farm. He rides off again.

    A married couple is in a deep sleep on their ancient cot. The man on the horse rides up to the farmstead and knocks on the door. He yells, “You have the water!”

    The farmer jumps out of bed and slips on his sandals. He grabs his water bladder and walks out to his field. The large irrigation canal runs beside the main road at the edge of his property. He lifts up a board, opening the path to a smaller, private canal that runs along the top of his field. Small openings blocked off by wooden boards line up with even smaller dirt canals, or ridges, dug into the soil in between the many rows of his several dozen date palm trees. He lifts the first board leading to the first row of trees and follows the water with a shovel. Making sure the water reaches the base of every tree in that row.

    The man on the horse returns to the irrigation manager’s hut. He transfers the water from the bottom pot back to the top pot and adds a bit more water to make up for the overflow. He then places the beads back into the empty pot. He has to do this three times before his shift is over. This ancient mechanism for timekeeping is called a clepsydra, or water clock. And it’s widely used throughout the institutions of the ancient Persian empire. The guards outside of the satrapies use it to time their shifts. The government officials, or satraps, time their meetings inside with it. The universities and the churches use it for consistency. They all use it for either consistency or fairness.

    As the population of this society grew, so did the complexities of organizing it and providing it with resources in a fair way. Daily life for the individual living in these metropolises also grew in complexity, responsibilities, and possibilities, so it was decided that, in the interest of fairness and consistency, it was necessary for our time to be treated as a resource. Like writing and mathematics, imagination birthed a physical mechanism to communicate to people something that might have remained abstract. Although time might have been something that was supposed to remain abstract.

    The people in this ancient society have been living life in this way for many generations. Every generation carves out their own unique identity. They undoubtedly recognized that they were different from their ancestors, but I wonder if they knew that, psychologically speaking, they were a completely different species from the humans that lived without this technology. This social programming had spread as far east as China, and to the Roman empire in the west. No matter who sat on the thrown or in the government building, your upmost loyalty was to a rhythm dictated by a social structure that had been increasingly dominated by a handful of religious, academic, industrial and administrative institutions.

    As we all know by now, we are creatures whose behavior consists of fragmentary pattern development to satisfy our biological needs. For example, when our metabolic system begins to run out of carbohydrates, fats, and proteins; our brains and our bodies begin a process of preparation. What that process is- depends on the pattern you have imposed on your system, and that pattern depends on your idiosyncratic experiences.

    If you were living in extraordinarily ancient times, it could be as simple as your metabolic system calibrating when your levels hit that threshold where you still have enough energy to go out and hunt or graze but recognizes that the brain needs to know the levels are decreasing. When that threshold is met, the myriads of messages crisscross our brain and body. All to kickstart the patterns that will eventually lead to getting food into your stomach.

    Sometime before the end of the paleolithic period, humans began adding patterns on top of the basic hunger patterns. Shifting the majority of the labor of the patterns from our bodies onto our short-term memory. Recognizing that we were hungry yesterday, we’re hungry today, and probably will be hungry tomorrow, we entered a kind of societal homeostasis. Archeologist Antonio Gilman theorized that multiple tribes may have gathered at a favorite hunting spot. Maybe a narrow pass which herds of late Pleistocene fauna and proboscidean reliably migrated through season after season. These proto communities got the brilliant idea of monopolizing the site. This might have been our crossing of the Rubicon to the structural patterns of our modern hypersocial incarnations.

    As the seasons passed, we might have probably noticed that our favorite spot to hang out and eat the pears that we picked from the forest a couple miles away was sprouting new plants. As the years passed, we had a grove of delicious pears growing alongside a natural pipeline of meat. The bitter little pebbles inside of the fruit were a resource. We had taken the leap towards agriculture and began stockpiling food by drying, smoking, and freezing to preserve meat and plants. Which meant that when our levels dropped, we no longer had to prepare our bodies for an exploration. We merely looked around our storage pits, or caves, or frozen streams for something to ingest. Our brains then adjusted to this new corporal freedom by occupying it with new patterns.

    Presumably, an adjusting to the months of free time between seasons inspired and fostered an impulse towards innovating the aesthetics of information exchange. In other words, we developed imaginative narrative to program the best practices for hunting and farming by deifying animals and the changes in seasons. Developing rituals to cement the importance of efficient hunting and cultivation into future generations with stories and making those practices second nature to the entire community. These innovations alone made the community unique, because they all told their unique stories. But, as the community grew, it probably recognized the need to keep transient nomadic tribes out. Maybe they subconsciously realized that a development of a collective identity was also required. A uniform of sorts. Turning themselves into something alien from the surrounding wanderers and other proto communities competing for the same resources. The isolation, the idiosyncratic teachings, and need for social uniformity as a defensive weapon might have birthed what we now define as culture.

    Due to the increasing size of their civilization, they developed a system to differentiate between a fellow tribe member you rarely had the pleasure of meeting, and a potentially dangerous intruder looking to steal from the community. Bruce Bower, in an article titled “Africa’s Ancient Cultural Roots” for the December 2nd, 1995, edition of Science News wrote that as early as 130,000 years ago proto humans in Africa had collected colored pigments and rhinestones apparently to use in ceremonies which showed just how different one group was from another. 60,000 years later some were upping the ante by elongating their children’s skulls, filing their teeth, or circumcising them to advertise their community’s uniqueness. Between 77,000 and 60,000 years ago early humans in Australia began engraving rows of symbolic circles in the local stone. Primordial writing showed up carved in animal bone as early as 27,000 B.C. Sculpture and cave paintings may have driven home the differences between one group and its enemies.

    The larger communities divided even further. Developing subcultures between upper and lower classes. Randall White, a professor of anthropology at NYU and one of the world’s leading specialists in the study of Paleolithic art and personal adornment, found that the decorated clothing, jewelry, body ornaments, and hide-covered homes distinguished the loftier members of a tribe from the low. A hierarchy developed inside of what should have been an egalitarian system. How? What took us from a collection of tribes with an abundance of food to a culture that ritualized everything? Was it a byproduct of isolation, xenophobia, innovation or some individuals instinctual drive towards power and authority within the group?

    Humans have something inside of them that compels them towards a belief in an inner sense of autonomy. A survival mechanism that helps the self- believe that they are immune to the gargantuan three headed dog of social, cultural, and institutional pressures- and participate in their society voluntarily. All of this to retain a scrap of what some might call the “soul”.

    Developing a network of uniformity would require a disarmament of said autonomous impulses through the advent of ritualistic behaviors— and to introduce that, you must be able to communicate a concept. You must induce a commitment to action through a connection between their needs and your novel belief system. To reinforce that belief system, they instinctually triggered the synapses corresponding to the visual cortex with symbols and accessories. Probably because they intuited that we define most environmental threats, sources of nourishments, and sources of protection through our eyes.

    Whether altering one’s physical appearance or altering their physical surroundings came first, the progenitor first had to define the concept of change. Define its purpose, benefits, and sacrifices. For a society with a primitive communication system, connecting an abstract philosophy to the practices used to produce the intricate body decorations or modifications would be like your manager trying to convince you that you could make more money if you taped paper airplanes all over your body every day. You might have some questions. You might offer some alternatives. The trick was finding a way to make the exercise appeal to the person’s existing environmental motivators. The need for safety. Your manager could just make it the uniform for new employees and tell them it’s required for security. In order to know that you belong.

    Connecting basic cognitive drives to a belief system that would be passed down generationally probably began with influencing and indoctrinating the future generation first. The people who’ll ask the least number of questions. Whatever the surface motivations for the invention of culture, and whatever the vast amounts of cohesive benefits, it seems we always overlook how culture functions as an exclusive evolutionary weapon for humans to protect themselves against other humans.

    The surplus in goods in also enabled two societies to trade and adopt aspects of each other’s cultures. Which society you could coexist with depended on the hierarchies of both. Even though our behavioral patterns gained complexity through the explosion of technology, writing, long-distance communication, and the influences of the other societies in the region; it sometimes did so with the primitive act of warfare. And at the end of any absorption, be it violent or peaceful, the culture always homogenized under the one adopted by the ruling class and always used as the fuel to ignite conflicts with any geopolitical foe by painting their alien culture as evil.

    Intergroup tournaments between political, religious, and economic ideas and their best practices continued to shape the ultimate form of the collective consciousness, and the individual one. Into all of this, we injected the pattern of time as a commodity.

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  • “Let the hate flow through you!” – Emperor Palpatine

    I usually don’t like writing about current events. Personally, it always feels cheap and pointless. A desperate dive into overly polluted waters, in hopes of cutting through the sludge of the hundreds of thousands of other opinions to catch a few more readers. But I hope I can offer an original, and substantiative take on the event, if nothing else.

    This is not going to be about any conspiracy theories about his assassination. Neither will it be a tribute to the man we knew as Charlie Kirk. It will be more of a criticism of what Charlie and people like him do, both on the left and right, to deepen the cultural divides in our country. How they utilize the hatred in our society to gain wealth and positions of power. How they stoke the flames and intentionally provoke one side of an issue to ascend a pedestal on the other.

    I recently watched a video on Itzhak Bentov. In it, there was a clip from an interview on the Danny Jones YouTube channel (never watched it), with “psyop expert” Charles Hughes. In the clip, he states: “If I can confuse your brain, your brain acts as though someone who is falling. So, if you can imagine when you’re falling, your limbs are flailing all over the place, and the first solid object that you come into contact with, [your brain] is going to grab around it. It doesn’t matter if it’s like a thorn bush or something. Anything that’s solid, in that moment of confusion, it’s going to get grabbed onto.” A more poignant analogy about our instinctual response to confusion, I can’t recall.

    In the days since his passing, I’ve grown to respect Charlie. I don’t agree with most (if any) of his political views or his ideological tenets. But Charlie Kirk was not inflammatory for its own sake. He was genuine in his desire to defend the moral and political systems he saw as superior. He saw their potential for good as objective and their evils as either necessary or subjective. He knew the power of social media early on and reached prominence with nothing more than his philosophy, outside of the academic abattoir.

    I had planned to outline a lot of his views and offer my criticisms to each. That idea seems kind of petty. Instead, I will offer a general critique of his overall philosophy through how I think the debate that commenced on that fateful day would have gone. Admittedly, I haven’t seen enough of Kirk’s content to extract a full picture of his views on the world. But, from seeing some clips on his various opinions on the major issues, I think I can hypothesize where the discussion was going.

    Essentially, Kirk villainized the various “mainstream media” outlets, government institutions, and colleges, which he believed to be nefariously indoctrinating the youth with pro LGBTQ+, Marxist, and anti-Christian ideologies. He believed this eventually develops into a radical mindset that breeds most of the ills in our society. In that sense, he was your typical Christian conservative. To me, where his beliefs became more far-right, or “radical”, was his numerous assertions that most people who are depressed, insane, violent, or impoverished, are so because of some evil liberal agenda. The most radical part being that the agenda is uniquely left, or liberal.

    In the movie “RUSH HOUR 2”, Detective James Carter introduces us to his main principle of detection. It’s called “follow the rich white man”. The premise: In every big crime, there’s always a rich white man behind the scenes, waiting for his cut. I believe that every major issue that divides this country, cannot be solved because of groups of rich men benefiting from that division. A great example is that debate Kirk was about to have before he was assassinated. The debater was trying to prove that most transexuals are less violent because they are statistically less likely to commit a mass shooting, which seems like an issue so trivial, to me, that it borders on the ridiculous. Not because I am skeptical that transexuals are being unjustly maligned, but because this issue affects such a miniscule number of people in our society.

    The debater then asks Charlie if he knows the number of mass shootings that have happened this year. Charlie knows that the debater is about to assert that young, straight, white males are more of a danger to society than trans males. So, he pivots, and asks the debater “including, or not including gang violence?” Charlie knows that this kid is talking about the specific crime of a lone gunman, walking into a crowded area with an assault rifle and killing indiscriminately. What Charlie was about to assert was that no matter how dangerous young white men are to our society, they pale in comparison to the traditionally left leaning minorities of the inner cities. This is the Charlie Kirk special. His response was miles outside the vicinity of the original issue. The debater wanted to point out that Kirk’s villainizing of trans people, while ignoring the danger posed by young straight males, was simply due to homophobia. Kirk counters by trying to confuse the debater and taking the argument down a left turn (pun intended) by conflating the original issue of unjustified homophobia with party politics and overall gun violence – and making the whole discussion a convoluted mess. This was his signature move. Purposefully confuse the debater’s point and hopefully the debaters themselves, while making the point of his rebuttal obvious and conservative enough for his idolaters to grasp and respond to.

    I believe the question was childish and nonsensical, mainly because it was too broad and steeped in subjectivity. In fact, I believe the argument of gun control itself is a politically regressive wedge issue. Part of becoming an adult is accepting the parts of yourself that you cannot change. And for America to grow up, it must accept that guns are going nowhere and the process for acquiring them cannot become any more restricting without infringing on our freedoms. Guns are a part of America. They are here to stay. They have all the regulations deemed sensible in a free society. Kierkegaard once said that “anxiety is the dizziness of freedom”. The faster we accept that guns are not going anywhere, and that there are damaged people in our society that can find weapons and kill a room full of people. The quicker we will find a solution outside of the argument.

    It’s easy to illustrate that there are more pressing issues than gun control, and yet every year millions of Americans devote their time and energy to arguing about it. For example, in 2023, 919,032 Americans died of cardiovascular disease. In the same year, 46,728 died of gun deaths. And yet, no one is fighting to weigh people at the Mcdonald’s drive thru. Or force them to get a license that says you’ve been examined by a doctor and deemed healthy enough to eat there. It’s an old and silly argument but I think it illustrates the fact that the upheaval about guns is not because it truly is the most pressing issue our country is currently facing. The hoopla is based on the shock of the act, the coverage in the media, and the fact that every time one of these events happen, the argument becomes fashionable again.

    I’m not trying to downplay gun violence. I’m simply suggesting that in a democracy that is this fatally wounded. We’re fighting about the best way to bandage the leg, while we bleed out from the neck. Sorry, too soon.

    This brings me back to Detective Carter’s principals of detection, specifically principle #1: Follow the rich guy. I don’t really have a hill to die on with the whole gun issue. When I say that, most people think it’s bullshit. But I believe there are some subconscious and sinister safeguards that are in place to prevent Americans from suddenly turning our country into a no-gun country. The reason for this is good old fashion mullah. There is a colossal river of money in the manufacturing, regulating, and selling of arms and ammunition with a bunch of rich guys at the end of it. That money then flows down to support a percentage of the population.

    The reason why the debate continues to garner so much attention is because the media uses the horrible events to get our attention. I’m not saying that our sweet virgin eyes and ears shouldn’t hear of such events. I am saying that we don’t need full day coverage or four-hour blocks, which conveniently translates to more ratings and advertising revenue. Ironically, another byproduct of all this attention is the message to any messed up, lonely kid that feels invisible and insignificant, that there is a surefire way to be remembered. At least until the next mass shooting. And now that social media has come into play, it makes the act even more appealing because they’ve seen how these stories spread like wildfire in their own town.

    This principle can be applied to every issue in our political and ideological atmospheres. Because most issues are supporting an ecosystem of organizations, pundits, headlines, authors, etc. on either side of the irreconcilable divide. For example, one can argue that there are some of the same incentives for why the religious right keeps making homosexuality and abortion an issue. The leaders of the various churches make enormous amounts of money nowadays by reviving this debate on YouTube and social media. Giving their followers an external source for all their fears, anger, and confusion. Outer enemies that serve as an outlet for all their inner subconscious frustrations. The frustrations that are constantly building up because of this rapidly mutating world. But you can’t walk around angry at the world. So, these people offer you answers by pointing out the enemy.

    Social media has taught us that hate is as much a financial benefit as love. Even American Eagle used this technique to become relevant again. Knowing that they would get more attention, not by trying to make some generic commercial that would appeal to everyone, but by making a commercial that would purposely garner hate from one group, so the opposition comes to defend them with large sums of money.

    This was the tool, whether knowingly or not, that Charlie Kirk used to rise from a political activist to a right-wing celebrity. The reason why I began this article with a quote from Star Wars was because in researching Kirk, I watched a video where kirk said he thought the original was the best of the series. In it there was a douche bag who claimed that Episode III was the best of the franchise and had some asinine comparison between the story of Anakin Skywalker and the temptation of Christ. Anakin’s story is more like Charlie’s. Anakin chose to follow the path of the dark side, to use his hatred to get what he wanted because it was the quicker route. Chalie Kirk was a very intelligent person. He had to know that his power not only came from the love he received from those who followed him. But that a major part of the power and love he received came from the fact that he was so despised from the other side.

    In what seems to be the final days of our civilization, it seems that hate runs the bingo. It is the one mobilizing force that compels others to love and to listen. But it also destroys.

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  • In 1934 Rudolph Schenkel studied captured wolves at the Basel Zoological Garden in Switzerland. The conditions were harsh. Ten wolves were kept together in a small area with a floor space of approximately 30 feet by 65 feet. He developed a theory that asserted there was such a thing as an alpha in a pack of wolves. A theory that is now considered disproven.

    A pack is a family. The two oldest breeders, the parents, are at the head of a pack. Those packs that benefit from a large and protected habitat, develop large and complex family units. Leadership is decided by age and personality traits. Those in the top spot are not there because they fought their peers for it. It was not their will for superiority. It was their responsibility. It is a result of the natural relationship that develops between the elders that excel in organizing the pack under proven strategies that provide for- and protect everyone, and those that recognize their role as dependents of these leaders and their strategies. If the strategies begin to fail, that’s when conflicts arise within the pack. The younger wolves rebel out of frustration or leave to create their own pack.

    The wolves studied in 1934 were all brought from different zoos, and unrelated to each other. The equivalent of studying the family unit by observing the behavior of prisoners in a holding cell. What Schenkel saw is an active and everpresent behavioral trait in humans. Arising from the way we have structured our own post-industrial world. His mind recognized a pattern present in our society and projected it onto these incarcerated wolves.

    What if we are all imprisoned? Ideologically incarcerated by what Viktor E. Frankl called “pseudo values”. What if our collective consciousness has been locked inside of an existential vacuum?

    I have a friend who was once incarcerated in a Los Angeles detention center. He is biracial. Half Indian (Hindu), half White. This mixture gave people the impression that he was of Latin descent, because of the heavy Latin American presence in the area and the company he kept. This was never a major issue. Just the source of some occasional frustrations. It only became an issue the day he arrived at the prison. Once he went through the process of entering the security check and administrative system, he had to pass through an organizational system ran by the prisoners. After entering their cell block, the line of “fresh meat” was herded towards the middle of the common area. The closer he got to the end of the line, the more the pattern revealed itself. The new inmates walked up to a crowded table; three men were seated at the table across from the standing newbie. They spoke to the new inmate, and he left.

    He walked up and realized he was in front of the leaders, or some high ranking member of the three main racial groups at the prison. He also realized he was being chosen by one of these groups and your group was determined by your racial background. He didn’t bother inquiring as to the possible existence of a Hindu prison gang. He knew he was simply fucked, and decided to keep his mouth shut. The Black leader ignored him completely. The Mexican leader spoke to him in Spanish. My friend’s blank stare made it obvious that he didn’t speak a word of Spanish. He grabbed my friend’s arm to inspect the medical wristband displaying his name. One glance prompted the Mexican leader to say, “Man! That’s some Russian shit!” He looks at the White leader and says, “He’s yours.”

    Now he was in the precarious position of being a brown skinned man surrounded by hardcore white supremacists. He kept his head down and glommed onto a group within the gang who seemed to tolerate his presence.

    One day the group decided to go out to the yard. Once out in the yard, a group member turns to him and says, “I have to give you props, man. Most motherfuckers are afraid to be out here. We’re outnumbered out here.” At this part of the story, my friend smiles at me and says, “This is when I knew I had fucked up.” Not by participating in the system, there was no choice in that. He wasn’t the type to isolate. Even if he was, a part of him probably knew that rejecting the group would have been suicide. But the mistake he made was not recognizing that he attached himself to a group that was desperate to prove itself valuable to the gang. He survived the ensuing riot by hitting the deck immediately.

    Days later, he witnessed an event that perplexed him. He noticed the three racial groups took turns cleaning the cafeteria. At the beginning of the week, the next group holds a meeting where the leader asks his soldiers to show gratitude to the gang from the week before for a job well done. A demonstration of solidarity inside of a deeply divided system.

    Coexisting ideological extremes living inside of an ecosystem that is increasingly owned by multinational corporations. Governed by representatives of a hierarchy who ascended to their post through the dedication- and skillful manipulation of- a morally ambiguous, yet dogmatic society. And policed by the threat of further deprivation of freedoms and violence at the hands of a militarized group that is driven by an authoritarianism that often breeds tyranny.

    Millions of opinions, voices, and experiences- millions of souls, naturally conforming into a preexisting paradigm. Absorbed into a super-organism. Involuntarily funneled into the bottom tier of a hierarchical order. This is how imitative learning builds society. An analysis of the social cues in the environment are processed through an imperceptible maze of electrically stored information and leads to you unconsciously plug yourself into the social order. This provides you with the best chance for survival in the environment. From there group selection takes the reigns. The mistake we make is believing that this only occurs in under specific circumstances.

    From the day our eyes and ears are fully developed, we are watching and listening. There is no context to what we see or hear, but we are programming the faces and facial expressions. We are programming the rythm of speech. How the people around you interact with you and each other. By the time we have fully encoded the rythm of our parents’ speech, we toss two thirds of our language faculties away. Now focusing on mimicking and contextualizing the sounds. We have also sacrificed 50% of our neurons to focus on developing those that help us navigate our environment. We narrow our focus to acquiring only those skills which are necessary. Who decides what skills are necessary? At first our parents. After that, society. Specifically, the social groups you interact with from childhood to adulthood.

    In 1998, theorist Judith Rich-Harris published her book The Nurture Assumption: Why Children Turn Out the Way They Do. Without a Ph.D. behind her name, she put her lady-balls on the table and presented substantial evidence to the fact that parents have little to no long-term effect on their children’s personality, intelligence, or mental health. “The environment definitely has an effect on how children turn out, but it’s not the home environment. It’s not the nurture they do or don’t get from their parents… According to my theory, (The group socialization theory) children learn separately how to behave in each of their environments. Children don’t blindly generalize from one context to another–their behavior is a function of what they’ve experienced in that particular context. If the behavior they learned at home turns out to be inappropriate outside the home–and this is often the case–they drop the home behavior and learn something new… Assimilation is the way children are socialized–how they acquire the behaviors and attitudes that are appropriate for their culture.”

    She also notes the hierarchical aspects to these social patterns.


    “… But personality development, I believe, is more a function of differentiation. Groups sort themselves out. The members of groups differ in status and in the way they are typecast or labeled by the others. This is true even for identical twins who belong to the same peer group: One might be characterized as the bold one, the other as the shy one, for instance. Or the other members might address their comments and questions to one twin rather than the other–a sign that they regard that twin as the dominant one. If such differences in status or typecasting are persistent, I believe they can leave permanent marks on the personality.”

    Some of the most subtle events bring a tsunami of electrical and chemical surges that change your entire programming in an instant. It changes the way you interact with your world. It connects you to the consensus reality. How ubiquitous this behavior is- is massively understated. The hierarchy seems to be the group’s natural state.

    The hierarchy organizes itself.

    Richard Savin-Williams spent a season watching summer campers interact. In June, the bunkmates met for the first time. For roughly an hour, the campers felt each other out, probing each other’s strengths and weaknesses, deciding who would be friends with whom. Then they quickly sorted themselves into a superorganism with a head, limbs and a tail. One camper became the “alpha male,” the dominant individual, the group leader. Another became the “bully,” a big, strong brute nobody particularly liked. A third became the “joker,” everybody’s good-natured sidekick. And one became the “nerd,” the unathletic, overly eager sort that everyone else felt free to kick around. Like the ants and the embryonic cells, each boy had taken his place in a kind of pre-ordained social blueprint.


    Just how pre-ordained that blueprint was and how much of his potential each boy had to sacrifice to assume his role became clear when another researcher tried an experiment. The scientist assembled a cabin composed entirely of “leaders,” boys who had been dominant, “alpha” males in their old groups. Very quickly, the new cluster sorted itself out according to the familiar pattern. One of the leaders took charge. Another became the bully. A third became the group joker. And one of the formerly commanding lads even became the new group’s nerd.

    The hierarchy enforces itself.

    Savin-Williams also studied female summer campers and discovered that adolescent leaders were particularly gifted at dishing out ridicule. Female camp trend-setters–praised by gender studies specialists like Carol Gilligan for their warm and gentle cooperation–were particularly wicked conformity enforcers. They did it with the carrot and the stick. A dominant female camper would offer to fix another girl’s hair or help her with her choice of clothes…both quiet ways of shaping the follower’s appearance to fit the mold. But the verbal abuse these teen leaders could mete out to those who failed to conform was so devastating that it agonized even the researchers watching it. One of them, who had been forced to tears on several occasions by the viciousness of the attacks she’d witnessed, said, “Now I know why no one studies junior high-school girls. They are so cruel and horrible that no one can stand them! I remember my own adolescence as that way, and this summer was like reliving it. Never again!” Yet when the girls were quizzed about dominance, they claimed to dislike it. Though some of them stomped others with appalling verbal brutality, they abhorred being seen as authority figures because to them it represented being different. And difference among young girls just won’t do–conformity has a choke hold that won’t let go.

    The hierarchy organically finds its purpose.

    In the summer of 1954, Muzafar Sherif convinced twenty-two sets of working-class parents to let him take their twelve-year-old boys off their hands for three weeks. He brought the boys to a summer camp he had rented in Robbers Cave State Park, Oklahoma. There he conducted one of the most famous studies in social psychology, and one of the richest for understanding the foundations of morality. Sherif brought the boys to the camp in two groups of eleven, on two consecutive days, and housed them in different parts of the park. For the first five days, each group thought it was alone. Even still, they set about marking territory and creating tribal identities.
    One group called themselves the “Rattlers,” and the other group took the name “Eagles.” The Rattlers discovered a good swimming hole upstream from the main camp and, after an initial swim, they made a few improvements to the site, such as laying a rock path down to the water. They then claimed the site as their own, as their special hideout, which they visited each day. The Rattlers were disturbed one day to discover paper cups at the site (which in fact they themselves had left behind); they were angry that “outsiders” had used their swimming hole.


    A leader emerged in each group by consensus. When the boys were deciding what to do, they all suggested ideas. But when it came time to choose one of those ideas, the leader usually made the choice. Norms, songs, rituals, and distinctive identities began to form in each group (Rattlers are tough and never cry; Eagles never curse). Even though they were there to have fun, and even though they believed they were alone in the woods, each group ended up doing the sorts of things that would have been quite useful if they were about to face a rival group that claimed the same territory. Which they were.


    On day 6 of the study, Sherif let the Rattlers get close enough to the baseball field to hear that other boys—the Eagles—were using it, even though the Rattlers had claimed it as their field. The Rattlers begged the camp counselors to let them challenge the Eagles to a baseball game. As he had planned to do from the start, Sherif then arranged a weeklong tournament of sports competitions and camping skills. From that point forward, Sherif says, “performance in all activities which might now become competitive (tent pitching, baseball, etc.) was entered into with more zest and also with more efficiency.” Tribal behavior increased dramatically. Both sides created flags and hung them in contested territory. They destroyed each other’s flags, raided and vandalized each other’s bunks, called each other nasty names, made weapons (socks filled with rocks), and would often have come to blows had the counselors not intervened.

    This process produces thoughts and actions that help, hurt, or even sacrifice our existence- or another’s, to the group. The axiomatic tools used to develop a young mind into what is hopefully a psychologically healthy and sufficiently assimilated member of society can also turn people into monsters. But it does so for what they percieve to be the greater good. Opposite the road to hell, the road to heaven is sometimes paved with bad intentions.

    “In an effective learning machine, the connections deep inside far outnumber windows to the outside world. Take the cerebral cortex, roughly 80% of whose nerves connect with each other, not with input from the eyes or ears. The learning device called human society follows the same rules. Individuals spend most of their time communicating with each other, not exploring such ubiquitous elements of their “environment”… This cabling for the group’s internal operations has a far greater impact on what we “see” and “hear” than many psychological researchers suspect. For it puts us in the hands of a conformity enforcer whose power and subtlety are almost beyond belief.”

    Howard Bloom

    Without behavioral conditioning, we are doomed to short, painful lives. If you lack critical social skills, for example. If your sexual development has been arrested or corrupted. If you are unable (or unwilling) to absorb and exercise social behaviors crucial to building relationships in school or work.You will undoubtedly face enormous challenges in providing for yourself and your family. In this age of social media you might also face a nightmarish life as the target of derission, pity, and shame. This is because we are now conditioned to conform to an unconscious competition. A system of hierarchies that enforces functionality over inquisitiveness. A utilitarian existence rather than an exploratory one. The only aspects of existence we are encouraged to explore are those that don’t question the consumerist agenda.

    Idiosyncracies are inevitable thanks to the unique experiences provided by the conditions of your environment, and how that environment adjusts to you. Your singular perspective and the deviant behaviors it inspires generates diversity inside of a hierarchy built on conformity enforcement. Your individuality begins as as an infant and is initially met with resistance. We identify behaviors that need to cease, can be altered, or seem to be tolerated in moderation. This balance of altering, amplifying, and moderating behaviors and thoughts- along with the occasional monitoring of this system, is what builds our identity. Individuals survive these “free rider” moments because of the group’s own cost-benefit analysis. They will eventually see their more stubborn deviances adopted because of the good things they provide to the group.

    Then there are those deviances thought to only generate destructive behaviors. These people either change, or are punished by the group. Homosexuality was one of the traits perceived as a punishable anomaly for centuries. In our reductive and sado-masochistic media machine, the literally destructive types of deviance gets the most attention. Making it easier to classify all deviant behavior as a problem. This is evident in the connection some groups of people still make between child molestation and homosexuality. They consider sexual tastes they deem as deviating from normative behavior as distateful and signs of psychopathy. This also happens to women who do not comform to gender roles and try to exhibit virtues that were considered masculine. We all know the names of the countries that continue to punish and execute women who want to explore their sexual options before being shackled to a man of their parent’s choosing.

    We are still socialized into worshiping the head of the group. Those most indoctrinated and most skilled in the hierarchies of authority, fecundity, sociability, attractiveness, and intelligence. Thanks to the internet, these groups have become larger than ever before. A globalized competition that convinces one of their self-sufficiencies and independence. We are all players in this game for status because it impacts our ability to survive in our post-industrial society. That is the beauty of this beast. The game gives us purpose. It gifts us the confidence of status and power over somebody, somewhere. While still bonding you to the local group. Even if we are invisible and insignificant to those at the very top of the global hierarchy. The skills required to qualify for the game are skills that make us valuable to our group.

    It convinces you that this is all a voluntary endeavor through the individualism the game promotes. It gives us the illusion of having an independent role in the otherwise dependent nature of life. We depend on the super-organism of the hierarchy.

    Most of us have lost the ability to build our own house. No land to produce our own food or make our own clothes. No time to educate our children on the value of finding meaning outside of ourselves and the roles we choose in this system. On being a human being who is truly in tune with their nature. This hierarchical game attempts to replace the simple life of communal self-sufficiency, and the skills that it required, with a social structure centered on commercialism. It allows us to ignore our absolute dependence on our group, corporations, and governments, with an identity based on the unique mixture of things that we consume.

    This system is doomed to fail in the long run, because it robs society of a larger purpose. Struggle is intrinsic to purpose. Not economic or political struggles. Not romantic, or familial struggles. We must struggle against the stagnant parts of our institutionalized ideologies, on bothe the liberal and conservative sides of the spectrum, and identify the transcendent values that will move our species forward.

    Revolutions against the web of social management apparatuses are gaining ground. The mismanagement and corruption that plagues free market capitalism and globalization might have crippled this country’s economy. But I fear that this country was too ideologically rigid to handle the free market of images and ideas. The information age has connected the ideological radicals and gave them the images of decadence and vulgarity to recruit against the economic and political hierarchies. All the while our consumer obsessed social media networks have expanded the dialectics to rationalize and further cement the culture of tribalism and greed already prevalent in our society. Those who manage the system will respond to this bewildering environment of internet induced insubordination with tyranny, manipulation, and violence. All under the pretext of keeping us safe.

    We need to wage war against something bigger than the circumstances surrounding our own existence; or we will only continue to wage war against ourselves. I am not on this soapbox to argue that society would be better off as Amish. Or sanctify those with dysfunctions who struggle inside of the system. Our ability to subconsciously comform is seen by our current sociological superstructure as a gift. Because it helps the global hierarchy currently in power. This project is simply an attempt to unveil the mechanisms behind our comformity. To paint a complete picture of the systems that program our species for life in a post-industrial society. In doing so, one inevitably finds the curses that accompany this gift.

    “All progress means war with society.”

    George Bernard Shaw

    The Judith Rich-Harris interview was published in The Disinformation Series’ Abuse Your Illusions, under the title Don’t Blame Your Parents: An interview with Judith Rich-Harris. The Richard Savin-Williams study was excerpted from Global Brain: The Evolution of Mass Mind from The Big Bang to the 23rd Century, by Howard Bloom. The Muzafar Sherif study was excerpted from The Righteous Mind: Why Good People Are Divided by Politics and Religion, by Jonathan Haidt.

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  • How accurately can we identify depression in another person? Can one discern bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, or psychosis from a single conversation? What if the individual appears cheerful, discusses their weekend plans, or enthusiastically recalls a sports event? Human beings are highly adept at mirroring one another in social contexts—exchanging subtle signals, synchronizing body language, and producing neurochemical responses that foster connection and social cohesion. These processes are often invisible, automatic, and essential for what we consider “normal” social interaction.

    Howard Bloom, in Global Brain: The Evolution of Mass Mind from the Big Bang to the 21st Century, explores this phenomenon of unconscious social synchronization. He references the work of sociolinguist Frederick Erickson, who describes how we instinctively provide conversational cues—nodding, smiling, gesturing—to sustain interaction. These micro-signals reinforce cohesion, and their absence or misalignment can disrupt the flow of conversation and the social bonds it supports.

    Bloom also cites anthropologist Edward T. Hall’s work observing children at play. A hidden camera recorded what appeared to be chaotic activity on a school playground. Upon closer analysis, however, the children’s movements were found to follow an unspoken rhythm. One particularly active child appeared to unconsciously direct the group’s tempo, and when the footage was set to music, it seemed as though they were all dancing to a shared beat. Hall’s conclusion was striking: even in unstructured moments, humans unconsciously harmonize with one another. William Condon further emphasized that humans should not be viewed as isolated entities but rather as individuals embedded in “shared organizational forms.”

    These insights raise urgent questions: What happens to individuals who, due to mental illness, cannot engage in this rhythm of mutual attunement? Those experiencing severe depression, anxiety, psychosis, or mood disorders often struggle to interpret or reciprocate social cues. Their inability to synchronize renders them conspicuous, often eliciting discomfort or even disdain from others. Social interaction becomes fraught with friction rather than ease.

    Such judgments are not always conscious. In The Righteous Mind: Why Good People Are Divided by Politics and Religion, psychologist Jonathan Haidt discusses how morality and perception are heavily influenced by emotional and sensory input. Studies he cites demonstrate that people exposed to unpleasant smells or bitter tastes tend to make harsher moral judgments. This supports the theory of “affect as information,” where people rely on their emotional state to evaluate social and moral situations. When someone with a mental illness disrupts the expected emotional feedback loop—whether by failing to smile appropriately, misreading cues, or becoming withdrawn—others may respond with irritation or suspicion, interpreting the deviation as moral or social failure rather than as a symptom of distress.

    In workplace environments and other group settings, this failure to socially synchronize can lead to ostracism. Individuals who are depressed, anxious, or navigating complex psychiatric conditions are frequently misjudged. Their difficulty in producing the expected endorphin-releasing conversational cues can trigger negative social responses. Sometimes, the group compensates by turning them into the target of derision—seeking pleasure through exclusion rather than connection.

    Compounding the issue, many mental illnesses come with symptoms that are socially stigmatizing, such as hypersexuality in bipolar disorder. Individuals may feel exposed, ashamed, or struggle with inappropriate urges during ordinary social exchanges. These symptoms, while treatable, place individuals at heightened risk of social alienation. Even during periods of relative stability, they may be perceived as odd or unsettling. A single misstep—an awkward conversation, a misunderstood gesture—can lead to character judgments that follow them in professional and personal contexts.

    Gossip, as a mechanism of social enforcement, plays a particularly destructive role here. It reinforces punitive norms and heightens the fear of ostracism. In the age of social media, this punitive gossip can occur both online and offline, compounding the anxiety of those with disorders like Paranoid Personality Disorder or Attenuated Psychosis Syndrome. The idea of being secretly mocked, excluded, or surveilled—however irrational it may appear to the neurotypical observer—feels real and deeply threatening to the afflicted individual.

    Mental illness often manifests as an exaggerated version of behaviors we all exhibit under stress: suspicion, anxiety, mood swings, withdrawal. Yet the severity and frequency of these experiences separate the pathological from the normative. The stigma surrounding mental illness, however, prevents many from seeking help. They often internalize their suffering as personal failure rather than as a treatable condition.

    Charles Darwin offered a sobering insight into group cohesion when he wrote: “The advantage which disciplined soldiers have over undisciplined hordes follows chiefly from the confidence which each man feels in his comrades.… Selfish and contentious people will not cohere, and without coherence nothing can be effected.” While this cohesion enables societal progress, it also creates an environment where deviation—particularly of a psychological nature—is met with suspicion and often cruelty.

    The reality is that individuals with mental illness are not anomalies; they are part of the human continuum. Their pain often stems not only from their internal struggles but from the external responses of a society built on emotional and behavioral conformity. These responses, while rooted in evolutionary mechanisms of group survival, must evolve alongside our understanding of mental health.

    Encouragingly, cultural attitudes are shifting. Public discourse around mental health has become more compassionate, and institutional support is slowly improving. However, significant work remains. We must recognize that our discomfort with mental illness often arises from unconscious biases, not reasoned judgment. By fostering greater empathy and awareness, we can begin to reduce the stigma that isolates and punishes those most in need of connection.

    In conclusion, the true test of a society is not how it treats its most synchronized, most adaptable members, but how it supports those who struggle to find the rhythm. Healing requires not only medicine but understanding, not only therapy but community. For those still fighting, there is hope—and perhaps, with time, a new kind of harmony.

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  • This essay is not a polemic, nor a reactionary lament. It is an invitation to consider an alternate frame of perception— one that may diverge sharply from our shared cultural narratives. It is best understood as an exercise in moral autonomy. Like any worthwhile philosophical investigation, it requires patience and intellectual openness.

    A recent conversation with a social worker— herself trained in psychology— served as the point of departure. Her living room displayed a small bronze bust of John Wayne. When I inquired about it, she lit up, fondly recounting childhood memories of watching Wayne’s films with her father. She assumed I shared her admiration. I did not. Coincidentally, I had recently read about a less flattering episode in Wayne’s legacy: an incident involving his reception in a hospital ward filled with wounded World War II veterans. I was also reminded of an older anecdote from The Book of Lists— an entry that alleged Wayne had financed right-wing paramilitary activity in Latin America.

    These stories do not invalidate Wayne’s cultural impact, but they complicate the image. And that, I believe, is a necessary form of humanization. Our culture has a tendency to sanitize the legacies of so-called heroes, erasing their contradictions in favor of mythology. We become emotionally invested in figures whose virtues are exaggerated and whose flaws are suppressed. In doing so, we lose the capacity for honest reflection—not only about our heroes but about ourselves.

    We are obsessed with perfection. Idolatry becomes a mechanism for displacing our own moral conflicts. The public rarely scrutinizes the full biographies of celebrated figures. Mistakes are minimized, if not outright erased, by supporters eager to maintain the illusion of unimpeachable virtue. This tendency fosters a collective unwillingness to confront the moral ambiguity inherent in all human lives.

    When I shared my reservations about John Wayne with the social worker, she initially responded with indifference. But as I expanded on the incident involving the wounded veterans—who had reportedly booed Wayne during a hospital visit—her defense of him grew more pointed. She insisted that he was, despite his political beliefs, a champion of open dialogue. The conversation turned, predictably, toward the perceived political motivations behind my critique.

    What followed was an exchange that underscored a troubling phenomenon: the reflexive protection of idealized figures against any intrusion of moral complexity. Wayne, dressed in full cowboy regalia, had entered a hospital ward of battle-scarred soldiers and been met with hostility. Their disillusionment was not abstract; it was grounded in the harrowing reality they had just endured. Many of them had gone to war with a cinematic understanding of valor, only to discover that combat bore no resemblance to the clean narratives of good and evil that had been sold to them by cinema and literature.

    War, especially the kind fought in the first half of the 20th century, is intimate and brutal. It is not merely a geopolitical contest, but a psychological transformation. Soldiers are not driven solely by patriotism or moral clarity. They are shaped by fear, necessity, and an adrenaline-fueled commitment to survival. The ability to kill effectively becomes a skill, and like any skill, it can become a source of pride— even pleasure. This detachment is not evidence of pathology, but a survival mechanism.

    The post-war realization that one’s actions may have been devoid of moral grounding can be shattering. Many veterans return home only to face a society ill-equipped to process the full truth of their experience. The social worker I spoke with dismissed the soldiers’ reaction to Wayne as naïve, subtly suggesting that anyone who expects war to be like the movies deserves the trauma that follows. Her comment betrayed a profound misunderstanding of both historical context and psychological development. These young men were raised on idealized depictions of warfare. They were not prepared for the moral ambiguity of combat.

    The U.S. military and Its media partners have long understood the need to control the narrative surrounding war. Brutalities are concealed not for strategic reasons, but to preserve a sanitized version of heroism that remains palatable to the public. American soldiers in the Pacific theater, for example, were exposed to extraordinary cruelty—beheadings, mutilations, and betrayals during false surrenders. In response, they sometimes committed atrocities of their own. Yet these realities are seldom discussed. To dwell on them is, according to some, psychologically harmful. But to ignore them is to engage in a collective delusion.

    This willful blindness contributes to a society that fragments under the weight of its contradictions. We fight over trivial ideological differences while avoiding the deeper, uncomfortable truths that bind us. Our unwillingness to confront reality in its full complexity leads to distorted expectations and stunted moral growth.

    At the heart of this dysfunction lies a social reflex: the desire to conform, to please, and to be accepted by the group. It is a force so ingrained that it often escapes notice. This instinctual drive perpetuates narratives that prioritize cohesion over truth, and sentiment over analysis. It also explains why so many veterans suffer when they return from war without adequate social support. The military invests heavily in transition networks, public relations campaigns, and mental health resources—not just out of care, but because they understand the psychological cost of confronting the true nature of war without insulation.

    But what happens when that insulation is absent? What happens when the war is internal—when one is fighting not an external enemy, but one’s own mind? Without networks of solidarity, state-funded care, or a socially sanctioned narrative, the burden becomes existential.

    This is not merely a veteran’s crisis. It is a societal one. Until we are willing to relinquish our idols and confront the uncomfortable truths they obscure, we will continue to misunderstand ourselves and each other. The mythology of the hero, while emotionally satisfying, is morally and intellectually corrosive. What we need instead is a culture capable of acknowledging complexity— one that does not confuse honesty with cynicism, or criticism with disloyalty.

    Only then can we begin to engage with reality on its own terms. And perhaps, only then, can we start to heal.

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  • What sacrifices have you made in life?

    My greatest sacrifice is being that asshole that is unwilling to make any sacrifices. I was angry with everyone around me. I felt that my childhood and innocence were treated like that little white ball in roulette. My parents were gambling with my fate and the ball kept alternating between neglect and instability. The consequences of the neglect I don’t talk about. The instability was typical.

    When I was 5 my dad was deported for trying to smuggle 70 pounds of Marijuana through the Arizona border with my uncle. My dad used to tell me stories about my uncle’s grimy mentality. Straight ODB energy, he would be pushing weight and still go get the packs of food stamps for his four kids as to not arouse suspicion. My dad says dude was swimming in foodstamps. They had the bright idea to take me and my mom with them on this international drug smuggling business trip. We served the same purpose as the foodstamps.

    The first time I talked to my mom about it as an adult, she swore I couldn’t possibly remember that day. When I mentioned the orange van with the brown or maroon carpeting, she was shocked and a little amused. When I mentioned sitting on her lap on the blue plastic chairs that were bolted to the wall, the white glossy paint on the cinder blocks and the blue door with the little window that my disappeared into- directly next to us, she started tearing up.

    My mom tried to convince my dad to jump the border. But he had never done it before. He immigrated legally during the Reagan years. Apparently middle class workers were worked up about something. And the people pulling the political strings convinced Reagan to relax the immigration process so that companies could have an abundance of cheap labor. That’s besides the point. He wanted to wait out the ten year penalty and live the single life for a while.

    At times, my mom either couldn’t afford or was too overwhelmed to raise all three of her children. When we were struggling financially, we would move around from place to place. A new school every year. I had to get used to never getting too attached to any friends I had made. Then she found a semi-steady job as a temporary worker at a food packaging plant and during the busy season she would have to work 16 hour days, 6 to 7 days a week to be considered worthy of a permanent position. She did this for a couple of years. I was causing a lot of problems at school so I would be occasionally shipped off to live with relatives.

    As I grew up with people coming in and out of my life, including the people who were supposed to raise me, I started to isolate. Became selfish. Became entitled. Did nothing in school. Why would I? I don’t fucking matter to anyone. Felt no responsibility to take some initiative so I could help my mom in the future. To make sure she doesn’t have to work when the lifetime of working hard hours caught up with her. I sacrificed her to my anger.

    I got married to a nice girl from a small town. We had two kids. When she started pushing me to sacrifice my immaturity for the good of the family, I sacrificed our marriage. I cheated on her.

    I’m still playing Russian roulette with my sons financial well-being. Unable to sacrifice my impetuous spending habits and my flippant attitude towards a future in any workplace. I’m on my twelfth job and never once been promoted because they know that I don’t care enough about the company’s operations or interests.

    Sometimes I think it’s too late to change. Sometimes I know I have to. But I can’t bring myself to sacrifice the old me.

    To whoever made it to the end, thank you for reading this. Peace and love.

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